A few months ago I was on a real spiritual low, actually a low of life in general. I'd come through months of trials and had more questions than answers. I was trying desperately to sieve through what is gospel and what is not, clasping onto the ragged remainders of my faith while trying to work out who God is and how He feels about me. I'd come through a period of spiritual, emotional and physical suffering and I was trying to see God in those circumstances.
One night I was driving back from a prayer meeting, where prophetically gifted Christians prayed over me and released words of love and encouragement. I'd come through quite a traumatic time and the words were hard to swallow, in fact I could almost tangibly feel them bouncing off my spirit. The words came back and tried again to penetrate the protective casing of my heart, but relentlessly my heart fought back chanting "you don't know me... you don't know what I've been through, you don't know what I did, you don't know what happened to me... you can't understand".
One of the men praying over me declared "You are a God chaser Laura, you have always been a God chaser a truth seeker". Pretty bold statement for a guy who had only just met me an hour before. But it was true, even before I really walked out my faith, I described myself as someone who wanted and sought truth, I'd even used those words before - a truth seeker.
As I was driving home that night a million things swirled through my mind, painful memories of things I didn't understand and flash feelings of hurt and abandonment. Discouragement started to seep back in through the cracks of my growing insecurity concerning His love for me. Remembering the man's words, I angrily spoke out to the Lord "Well Lord, I'm done chasing. I chased you and I got hurt real bad and now I've learned my lesson, my chasing days are over".
Literally moments later I drove past a billboard for Chase Bank. The words screamed down at me "CHASE WHAT MATTERS". I had to smile, a tearful smile, He'd caught me off guard. No sooner had a spoken than He'd gotten the last word in.
He was speaking and straining my ear to hear I sensed Him say, "I see you. I see your pain and I do understand how your feeling. But Chase me. I know everything about You, I created You and I know your thoughts before you think them. Chase me. I love you, and I have a plan for you, there are things you don't see yet. Chase me because I chase you, I preempt you because I know your days, your hours, your moments, you are very precious in my eyes. Chase me because I AM LOVE, don't ever stop Chasing what matters."